You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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