normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
