I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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