nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
