I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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