Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize