Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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