spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
