Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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