I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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