It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
nutella sex= disaster
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
