Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
