I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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