I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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