she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
