It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
