he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
