I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
