I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
