I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
