the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You took a bar mat shot.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
