What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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