bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize