I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
As shirtless as possible
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
