If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
