So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
