I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
