There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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