Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
