It's just like the Real World with babies
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
