Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So much rum. So many feels.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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