yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
