You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
