I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
