Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
