I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
