ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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