help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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