Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
