absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wish you could order shots online.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Randomize
