No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
