He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Found your dick twin last night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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