i love accidental penises.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize