It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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