Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
