if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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