Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I believe in your delicious
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
