I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize