none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
