Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
