Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Success! We fucked roommates!
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