need another drink. this is the easiest way
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
