Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
