there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
