cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
