that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
