ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
