we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
