This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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