its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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