I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
There's always time for handjobs
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
