Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
