Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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